For Heath Ledger

Actors absorb the experience of their role; especially the great actors. Heath Ledger was one of the greats. The role of the Joker was more dangerous to absorb into and mimic than any other.

Heath was a man who focused and put great power into transforming into the Joker. So much so that he at times had to let go of who he was. With sleep deprivation it only compounds the transformation and pushes you deeper into the mind of the Joker.

Heath tried to get help; for example getting a masseuse. No one could help him. Heath tried to sleep; using sleeping pills and whatever means he thought would release him from the Joker - but in the end he; the Joker, won.

We all miss the great actors of our times. Heath Ledger mastered the craft of acting and never wanted to hurt himself or others - it was just an overdose accident. A simple mistake, not a suicide. He tried his best to self rescue, but sometimes we learn the lesson 'One man is no man'.

Heath has taught us to be there for others; to see their issues through their eyes - not to judge, but to help - to simply help another in need. I have attained this wisdom and insight, because I too have acted and now know how far a mind can run away - be sure to have a solid circle of friends and know how to 'grab the silver line', grab it and don't go too far with your craft, or whatever it is that you do.

In conclusion, if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Give to him who begs from you, and do not refuse him who would borrow from you. We the people, its time to reverse course - return to pure living, to freedom, and to restore the planet. We have reached a toxic state, now lets be the change we wish to see in the world.

Information about Heath's death found here:

http://cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/01/22/actor-heath-ledger-is-found-dead/

Big Picture from the Big Bang to Big Ideas

The direction of time, forward, from the big bang shows us the trend of order going the way of dis-order.

What goes agianst this movement? Does anything?

Our ideas; we create order from disorder, its the only hope.

Why don't we ever witness time in reverse? Because every law of physics says it is possible. We don't see this, because the direction of travel here; in our universe, is from order to disorder.

Like when we are holding a wine glass full of red wine. If we were to drop it, then it would break into pieces, then the wine would splatter all over the place, the glass would go from an ordered form to a disordered mess.

This is why I think having ideas are so vital to our happiness, since the most ordered state in all of time was in the most concentrated state prior to the big bang. It is the only thing we can do against this flow, the flow towards complete disorder.

Ideas are like those broken pieces of glass, those disordered shards, and those liquid particles of wine now spilled being able to flow against every force and back into the hold of the wineglass again, for those glass pieces to now be useful again. We must continue to bring our ideas, our dreams, into this universe through creation.

How do we create our ideas? Books. Movies. Art. Inventions. Actions. Depends on the idea. What's your idea?

Depends on who you are as to what ideas flow. I am a dreamer, in every way. Movies are where dreams are made. Thus, I find happiness in movie-making.

And don't forget to ask what makes you happy, because that is the point of everything, if it isn't... then what's the point. The wineglass full of red wine makes me happy. The broken wineglass doesn't.

Being creative; happiness will fill this world.

Dark Star SAFARI quote

Like Jackals, some small boys leaped from the shadows and followed close behind me, calling out, "Hungry, hungry."

I kept going, encouraged by the lighted shop fronts, the night watchmen, the busy cafes. This was the main street of the upper town. The port was down below in the commercial district. The boys, four little bony forms, smelling of street, crowded me and snatched at my fingers. They had sad embryonic faces and small sticky hands.

"Give me money," each one said in turn.

I had prepared myself for such an encounter. My pockets were empty, I wore a cheap watch, I carried very little money. I said no and picked up my pace, but they stayed with me.

Waiting to cross the street, I flapped my hands to prevent them from being snatched. One boy, the most poised and persistent of the four, assumed a scolding tone.

"If you give me something I will leave you and you can go," the urchin said with a good command of English.

"But if you don't give me money or whatnot, I will follow you and I will not leave you, and I will ask and ask."

It was an impressive piece of hectoring, and portended a great career for the boy in politics or law,...

Day 1 : Greetings from Roatan

3.6.11 - Perfect weather. Super chill Sunday, listening to Jack Johnson in the hammock on the back porch of the dive master house. A child stands on the roof of a house, looking at the sea. Saw a monkey on a chain, a few motorcycles, and heard a man at the mart speak of a wreck - just like Korea, but not.

Met a dude, Alex - sat in 31 C on the flight from Houston. He is here for a dive master internship for 3 months. Talked to a gorgeous blonde American girl while going thru customs. She just about finished with college, here on spring break - stupid me, I should have gotten her details - even saw her at the mart later. Stupid me!

Chad from Panama City, Florida picked me up from the airport. The B-737 landed on the 25 runway, then did a u-turn on 25, and taxied to the gate. Saw a Cessna 172 - hope I find a job. Get some $. Resume training. Ceiling fan here in the house living room has style - light swings around and around, the wires inside spark and break - reminds me of the crappy house in Linden.

KOREAN DVD BANGS

A typical movie night in Texas is far different than a movie night in Korea. There are the same movies in both countries. Korea loves American movies as much as you and I, but instead of just buying a ticket to the theater room... you get to select which seat you're buying at the ticket window. This beautiful Korean girl smiles and shows you a display of the seats available. You pick them the same as you would for an airline.

I actually think that is something we should bring to America. It was very helpful and efficient. Plus, there wasn't that weird walking up the stairs with your date/friend asking if this row is good or that one.

Also, they offer something totally different in Korea too!

If you want to go out, but not so keen on sitting in a crowded room with a huge screen in those seats with no room to stretch out in, then you can go to the DVD bang. Bang, pronounced Bong; which means room.

The DVD bang is like your own private movie room. There are huge leather seats/couches. A projector to watch your selected title on. There is an amazing sound system which you can control; go as loud as you want because the walls are soundproof. You can pause the movie, etc. And order beers too! Food also... but I was sold on ordering beer! That was like every Texan's dream come true.

Most of the time in Korea, I had a bad opinion/attitude towards those DVD bangs. I don't know why I had that perspective, but I thought it would be dirty and used for sex or something. So when my Irish friend, (NAME), invited me to explore one with her in Uijeongbu, I had to. I never want to say no and I always will try something at least once.

We picked out a great movie! We had our own alcohol that we carried in with us, plus we ordered some beers while watching the movie together. It was my kind of place.

I think one night we ended up crashing there for a few hours before going somewhere the next day. Let's just say that you can pay $5 for this room, sleep there, watch a movie, whatever you want to do.

There were some great times in those DVD rooms.

I had some great times on the public buses afterwards too. Since I am looked at like a zoo animal all the time in Korea, there is no public shyness when it comes to acting out because they are already looking at me weird to start off, must be the red hair.

This one time, I got on a public bus with a girl around 7am, we had stayed up the entire night in one of those DVD bangs and we started making-out on the bus. It was so fun to be rolling around in the back of a bus in Korea while Koreans were trying to go to work and be professional. Those were the days! I think we ended up on the floor at one point, got off at the wrong stop on purpose to explore a mountain. Then, we realized we were really tired and hung over. So we went to my place... we both had work that same day too. Lot's of coloring and tests that day in class for 45 minutes.

In conclusion, Texas would be wise to observe business models from other countries. Korea had a lot of problems, but they also had a lot of success too! That's what I love about traveling, a man can go into the unknown and gather new perspectives, new friendships, and totally new business ideas while analyzing the benefits and costs.

ATM... We Meet Again!

Before I knew how to say much other than HERE. NOW. in Korean... I was out for a wild night on the town in Seoul.

Seoul was about 2 hours away from my apartment, but it could have been light years when I woke up on a street curve, next to a club, with a slight drizzle coming down .... like God himself was waking me up with his first morning piss! Love you God, but that was wrong!

So I lost my friend, Andy. Andy was my co-teacher. He had lived in Korea a year or two so far and spoke some Korean. But I had only lived in Korea for a week or two and spoke two words of Korean. I didn't even have Korean money in my wallet, nor a Korean bank account or phone.

When I awoke and remembered that I had passed out after getting lost, I started laughing... then I felt hunger and thirst. I stopped laughing. Got up, which was a task in itself. Started wandering down the street. I remember seeing, on both sides of this street, Korean women, women standing in doorways smiling at me and saying something. Could have been:

"Hi American Boy! I can help you. I can give you warm food and a dry place to recover."

OR it could have been:

"Hi, American boy! I want to give you sex and you give me Korean won ( money ) for good time! "

I decided it was the later... and kept my drunken swagger going down the papered city street and around the corner. I ended up at an ATM. I put my Bank of America card in it. It was all written in Korean, of course. So I tried to do it, but couldn't. After a few tries and failures, all of them just making me more and more depressed... I walked further around the corner, trying to remember where I might have lost Andy and myself. I didn't even know what city I was in. Nor did I know where I lived. I knew the name of the city, that was it. "Sin-gal"

I saw a catholic church on my right. I walked over. Didn't see anyone, found an open door into a room with a table, some chairs, and a water tank. So I sneaked in. I took that paper cup and drank! Drank me some water like I was the drinking from the fountain of Life! Then I crawled up on the table and went to sleep. I awoke to the faces of some Korean women, not like the Korean women I mentioned earlier, in the doorways on that street... but these women were saying some more Korean gibberish. I think I winked at one of the nuns and swaggered out the door and went to the nearest store.

Got a triangle sandwich thing with some Korean gibberish written on it. Then I got a bag of chips. Used my Bank of America card, and it WORKED!

I sat out there on the street! It stopped raining. I started eating my prized possessions on the steps of a bank. Then I decided to return to that street with those Korean women and that club I slept in front of. I'd try and find Andy once more, I thought. But no luck!

So I passed out for another while on a concrete thing between two telephone poles. Again, God must have had to piss, because that same drizzle woke me up. So I did a repeat of the get up and walk procedure. This time, I really thought about going over to one of those doorways... but no! I couldn't. They did look sexy as hell, but I chose to try to get into something else.

"(uh) ATM... we meet again!"

ATM and I had some moments! I yelled and punched her, she spat out some gook money and I went to the nearest cab. I said. Here! Now! and the name of the city I lived in. ( in Korean-ish Texan )

After a ride, we found ourselves in the city. I just pointed in directions, he laughed and we went that way until I saw something I recognized. It took about an hour to find the building I lived in. I got out, gave the gook his gook money and went up to my apartment, it was not raining anymore. It was like 2:30 PM. I rode the elevator to the fifth floor and entered my room.

I was dry and in the shower, singing and smiling... I woke up in the shower a few hours later, Hungry and Thirsty with no gook money. "Damn, I really need more of that gook money!" I thought to myself... luckily Andy knocked on the door and he made me some American food. God bless Americans.

In a Special Place

Korean night club experiences are different than anything else I knew in America! My first time was with another expat, so I thought all nightclubs were the way I am about to describe, little did I know that I was in a SPECIAL place.

This special place looks like a normal club. You have the dark room with lasers, neon lights, loud music, fog machines and even bars with booths for sitting in with little candles on them.

We sat down at a booth, guided by some Korean in a tux... which is common for Korea, they dress up for everything. Service is very formal in Korea and nice. There must have been at least 20 of those butler looking dudes in suits in the club. Within a few minutes we had a huge platter of fruit, pitchers of beer, and women on our laps... all without getting up or pulling any strings.

In this special place, which is called a hooking club or booking club; couldn't understand their pronunciation. The tux dudes pay attention to new people that walk in and they are your personal attendant for everything. For the women that come to this place, they know the procedure. A normal woman, that isn't a hooker or anything, just a shy Asian woman... she can walk in with her friends and just enjoy the music and wait for a tux dude to escort her to a table of eligible men. The men choose if the woman/women stay or go. To keep the women you don't have to do anything except look like you like what you see. If the tux dude see that you are not liking, he will take them off your lap and they go back to waiting in the general population for the next opportunity. If you really don't like the women, then you just raise the candle up... with a bolt of quickness, the tux dude will appear and apologize and get you a new girl.

So, my first time here was only my second week in South Korea. I spoke not a word of Korean. I understood nothing, so I was open to all. If this was how it was in Korea, then that's how I'd do it too.

We had a good time that night! I think we only raised the candle once. There is no obligation to have sex or anything like that, it is all free to do or not. This is just a way for the Koreans to get over that initial shyness and meet new people.

One time, these girls took me to a club... and they tried to get me to pay for all their food and drinks. I didn't even understand Korean very well, but I understood what was going on... so my friend and I walked towards the exit and then bolted, jumped in a cab and went to a karaoke bar instead. Clever boys we were.